Not Being Heard

Hello!!! I am Here!

If you are a woman in one of the many male dominated industries, you have probably experienced a time when you are not being heard.  I recently received a call from a financial advisor out in Colorado.  She is a millennial and so excited about the possibilities this business offers - from income opportunities to building your own business, but like many women she has already experienced the gender gap found in financial services.  In her most recent experience, she was in an informal setting and a business discussion began.  She surprisingly got a chance to ask a question and the dominant male at the table proceeded to respond without acknowledging or addressing her directly.  As women, this is a frustrating experience.  We feel all types of emotions ranging from shock, embarrassment, to feeling belittled and uncomfortable.  So how do we manage through this?   As women, we either shy away from speaking in these settings or we experience the frustration of just being ignored or not taken seriously.

Here are my tips for dealing with this situation.

1. Change your mindset. Put yourself in their shoes.  It isn’t you that is uncomfortable with the scenario - it is them.  As men, they are used to being in an all-boys club.  Now there is a woman in the locker room and they are in their underwear.  It is they that are uneasy with the situation so it is their defense mechanism to either ignore the women in the locker room or deal with their own insecurities in dealing with women.   Many men in these types of industries are not use to women as equals.  They have stay-at-home wives that may not have developed their own careers.  So, it isn’t always a matter of not knowing how to deal with women, it’s just not knowing how to deal with working women.
2. Not getting a word in?  As a petite woman, I have had to deal with my own set of compounded problems when it comes to being ignored.  I developed my own technique, when I know I should speak up or make a comment and I am being over powered by the boisterous voices of men - I simply stand up and speak.  This is always an attention grabber.  Everyone’s tendency is to look to see what is going on and quiet down.  If you are not comfortable for the dramatic, stand up, make your point and head on over to get some coffee as if that was always your intention.  It is a great trick that is sure to work and the only way to get men comfortable with your presence is to be a participatory contributor to the conversations.
3. Feel judged?  Are you terrified that you are going to be judged or your perspective isn’t going to be taken seriously?  Diversity in thought is what is needed in male dominated industries.  Continue to share, volunteer to implement your ideas, provide suggestions as to how it might work and how you can start a focus group or a pilot.  Do not give up on your great ideas.  Believe me, they might not see it now but your persistence will pay off.  Always provide an idea with a solution.

You are the future.  Keep in mind that we are changing to face of many of these industries and as younger recruits join, the male domination will decrease and eventually disappear.  The generational gap you are dealing with is only temporary and you have a lot more mileage left than your male counterparts.  So, hang in there and watch them retire out of the business.   The industry is leaving them in the dust.

-Bellaria Jimenez