Women and Communication: What we rock at and what may be our flaws

How we communicate says a lot about us. It’s a reflection of how we are at work and in our personal relationships. They say communication is the root of all failures and all successes, so why are females so much better at it?

Our top communication strengths via Forbes.

• Ability to read body language and pick up on nonverbal cues: In my personal experience, a woman can pick up on the slightest discretion of how someone is sitting or standing, eye contact or focus without having them say a word. She can tell when someone is sad or they have something on their mind that they fear saying. She also has the ability to draw it out of them, which brings me to our next strength, listening.
• Good listening skills: I believe this is by far our best strength. We know how to shut up and just listen! A good leader is one that can address an issue and find a solution solely by listening and asking the right questions. See, the majority of communication problems stem from a person not listening or only hearing what they want to hear. This leads into one coming up with their own assumptions, which causes bigger issues in the end. If we all just listened rather than reacting or assuming, we would mold a more efficient and effective work and home environment.
• Effective display of empathy: Yes, we are the nurturers and although I have been told time and time again over my career “you are too emotional” I don’t necessarily think it is a flaw. I find that true leadership isn’t built by leading with an iron fist and showing people who is boss. It is built by being able to understand and relate to one’s situation and cultivating a partnership of trust and respect. The people that know you understand and support them are the ones that will show you a harder work ethic and do whatever needs to be done to get the job finished. When people are fearful or dislike you, it will only lead to lack of loyalty to you and your firm. Empathy is good but to a certain point. Be mindful of the emotion you are displaying as too much can cause you to be taken advantage of or appear weak.

Although we are all Superwoman in our own lives, we do have a few weaknesses that cause us to not be viewed as that epic leader or hinder us to a certain point in our career. So what are they?

• Overly emotional: This is the flip side to effective empathy. Too much is not good. As I said before, we should be weary of how much emotion we show, as it may not be the right time or place for it. I like to think I have this part of my career under control but I surely don’t. I am very emotional in certain situations and it causes me to be reactive… which trust me, is not a good display of one’s self-control in the workplace. I time and time again must remind myself to not take it personally and walk away before I react. It’s my emotional side, and I love it, but it has been my worst enemy at times. This is the weakness I continue to work on.
• Meandering- won’t get to the point: I’ll tread lightly here as I feel men never get to the point but I see how it can be a woman’s weakness. The madness behind it is that we overthink everything; therefore, feel we need to over-explain everything as if that will make them understand more of what we are trying to say. False. I’ve learned that just frustrates my counterparts more and brings them to thinking I have no point at all. So ladies, let’s not let out our whole life story or reasons why we are insecure to simply explain that a meeting was cancelled 😊. Straight to the point with maybe a little extra words or explanation… but not too much 😊.
• Not authoritative: Oh this is my favorite one because to me, it’s not true and if it is true, it is only because we have been knocked down by those we have tried to project our authority too many times. When I started as a manager and had direct reports and counterparts, I felt that I was walked all over. I never spoke up or spoke my mind to position myself in that “boss” role. Rather than projecting my opinion or enforcing a task to be done, I would just do it myself. Then I smartened up and realized that I am going to get nowhere if I don’t put my foot down and create my own rules, processes and procedures on how to do business. How would I grow and develop if I don’t speak up during the management meetings and prove I know what I am talking about? Over time, I grew in my peer’s eyes as an equal rather than an admin. After all, we did have equal titles. It became the norm and all I can say is if you feel something is right or have an opinion on a matter, speak up, put your foot down and enforce what you believe is best for the firm, your peers and yourself. Now there is a flip side to being authoritative but that is a story for another day!

Keep being amazing, ladies!