How to Find Time to Read and Grow

“An education will make you a living, but working on yourself will make you a fortune.” Jim Rohn 

Great Leaders are growing every day. If you look at a baby in the first 4 years of life, you are amazed at how fast they are growing and developing in front of you and you are not as aware of it unless you don’t see them as often. As a leader, you don’t see your own growth much in the same way, but people will notice over time through brief snapshots of your demeanor, actions and decisions that you make when faced with decisive moments. My personal growth has been more pronounced over the last two years when I made a personal goal to read as much as possible. I was never a big reader in school. I considered myself a slow reader, I felt it took me twice as long to read a book then my friends. One summer my best friend and I went to the local library and took out “Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory”. Our objective was to sit by her above ground pool and then share a miniature book review session at the end. I was still half way through the book and she had already finished it and was frustrated with my slowness. In many ways, these small experiences turned me off to reading for years to come.

This renewed sense of self development was faced with a new challenge. As much as I would enjoy snuggling up by the fireplace with a book every evening, I have a demanding career, a husband, 4-year-old and aging parents that demand my time every day. When I get to bed I simply pass out. I have no energy nor ability to read. I analyzed my daily routine and had to find time that made sense for me and my life. It was then that I discovered Audible. I commute to work and other meetings and my travel time has become my self-development time. When I listened to my first Audible, I felt that I had been transported back to circle time in grammar school. I could see myself sitting in the circle and loving the experience of listening to a story. I was sold. Since my first Audible, I have listened to over 50 books, many on personal development. I have made it a point to extract at least one idea from each book. I realized that reading and executing on what we learn is one of the most powerful tools we can have. “Personal development is the reinforcement of the obvious.” - John Ellis.

From time to time we will share some of our favorite books and encourage you to grow one day at a time. As I learned from the “10X Rule” by Grant Cardone, I focus every day on just one thing to improve myself, if all you do is grow by 1% every day in one year, you have accomplished so much. When I feel, I have been wronged or a problem is out of my control, I hear in my head Joel Osteen in “The Power of I Am” telling me to let it go; I must focus only on the things I can control. When I face fear that is affecting my confidence I think of Les Brown in “the Power of Purpose.” He describes a man that was terrified of this dog that was always barking and drooling and terrifying him when he walked by this house. One day the dog got loose and began chasing him. When he decided to turn around and confront his fears, he realized that the scary, big, drooling dog had no teeth. We constantly are in fear of things that truly can’t hurt us and that has been a powerful reminder. When I find myself second guessing a decision to speak up, I think of Mel Robbins and the “5 Second Rule”; I count backwards 5,4,3,2,1 set an anchor thought and move.

Recently, I faced an important decision in my career; my life was spinning out of control. The company I had been with for 15 years had decided to sell us and throw us to the curb. At first, my immediate response was to be there for my team. As a leader, I dedicated my time and attention to comforting and reassuring everyone else before stopping to think about my own career. My phone wouldn’t stop ringing between recruiters and those pesky negative people always wondering what you are going to do. The company that took us over had a completely different business model and for my role, it meant taking an incredible amount of risk to purchase my business and become an entrepreneur. Behind door #2, I had many offers to continue a similar path from what I had built as an employee. One night on my drive home when I was just quietly sitting in my car, the book from “Rich Dad Poor Dad” came to my head. When I read that book I recalled feeling such mixed emotions. Everything Robert Kiyosaki described of living life in a Rat Race was true to me but I felt embarrassed to admit, I had a job. Although I had a six-figure income, I was on the wrong side of the quadrant, I was an employee, not a business owner. I was not in control of my career and I wanted desperately shift that. Here I was facing the opportunity, the scary, big, drooling dog, the ability to own my business and I was terrified and paralyzed. So I counted 5,4,3,2,1 and moved. I will now start my new journey as a business owner and I didn’t stop to seek advice from those around me; instead I found the answer within me.

I know I have shared very brief examples of the power of books but these are some of the influential people in my life that I have never met but are responsible for who I am and the choices I make. I ask you to ask yourself, what are you feeding your mind? You will reflect what you put in. If you eat a diet high in fats and carbohydrates and don’t exercise, chances are you will become ill and unhappy. If you feed your brain a daily dose of news, gossip, and talk shows, you will soon see the same output in your behavior and attitude. Garbage in, garbage out. Make a commitment to yourself... READ, GROW and DEVELOP into the true leader you wish to be.

-Bellaria Jimenez

Are you indispensable?

Perhaps you're frequently told—by colleagues at work, family members, or friends—that they don't know what they'd do without you. Of course, it makes you feel important. But perhaps you're being given a bit of a back-handed compliment. Any good manager can tell you that the secret to a smooth running and successful operation is delegating authority.

Maybe you make the world's best lemon pie. And after you're gone, your kids will sit around for decades, reminiscing about what a great pie Mom used to make. But wouldn't it be even better if you had given them the recipe, and they could continue making it for themselves instead of simply dreaming about it?

How much more important are your financial records! Whether you are the only adult in your household, or share responsibilities, think for a moment. If someone had to take over for you in an emergency, would they be able to keep your affairs running smoothly? Here are some points to consider:

• Identify your “backup team.” In most households, there's a division of labor. While that's an efficient system for day-to-day operations, cross-training is important as well. Your spouse or partner should know what you know, and vice versa. If you are the only adult in your household, enlist a trusted family member or friend with the necessary information. If you share a home with a roommate, an elderly parent, or another person unwilling or unable to handle your finances, you might also need to go outside of your household to find your “backup team.”
• List your bills. Start with rent or mortgage, utilities, minimum payments on credit cards, car payments, and anything else you pay on a regular monthly basis. Then add bills you pay less frequently, such as a yearly trash fee, car insurance, or association dues. Also list items you pay on an as-needed basis, like snowplowing, repairs or yard cleanup.
• Create a calendar. Mark down the deadlines for each bill, and when you usually pay them.
• Create a notation. Mark down how you usually pay each bill: by check, cash, credit or debit card? In person, by mail, electronically?
• Provide physical access. Do you have files kept in a desk or filing cabinet? Your backup person will need to know where these are located. Do you have a safety deposit box? Ditto for the keys. Are you the only account holder for your bank accounts? Consider adding your backup person so that check-writing and other transactions may be performed by him or her. Do you keep the business cards of preferred service people? Are they all in one place, and is it clear who does what?
• Prioritize. If money were tight, which bills would get paid before others? Consider this question, and talk it over with your backup person. Also think about what you would do with an unexpected windfall: save it, invest it, donate it to charity, or pay off a debt?
• Practice. Don't just talk about dealing with your finances. You may think you know how to do a thing, but actually having to do it flushes out all the possible problems. So guide your family member or friend through the process. With your assistance, have him or her sign onto your online accounts. Go to the bank together and open the safety deposit box. Make sure the bill statements are understandable to both of you.

And remember, turnabout is fair play. If your partner or spouse handles all or some of the bills, then perhaps you are the one who needs training. If handling the finances is not your regular job, but suddenly fell to you, would you know what to do?

This month, vow to share information, and step through the process of handling your financial business with someone you trust. Even if you go back to your routine division of labor, you'll undoubtedly have become more organized in the process, and you'll have gained peace of mind, knowing that in unexpected circumstances, your affairs can be managed smoothly. That's better than being indispensable any day.

Making Finances Indispensable
While completing this process, you may come to recognize a newfound appreciation of the intricacies involved with managing your financial affairs. Now may be a good time to take a second look at your finances and long term plans and involve your backup in the process. Guidance from a qualified financial professional can help you think about the best ways to plan for the future and manage your money.

Women and Financial Education- What you Need to Know NOW

We don’t graduate students from high school until they know how to read and write, and we don’t give out driver’s licenses to people who can’t pass tests showing they know the rules of the road and how to handle a car.

Yet every day we put credit cards and bank accounts, paychecks and mortgages, stock options and insurance policies into the hands of people who haven’t proven they understand how to use them. These financial instruments are powerful tools—sometimes even weapons in the wrong hands. Understanding how to use them properly demonstrates a high level of financial acumen.

Financial education is rarely taught in schools, although some states now mandate this as part of the curriculum standards. Parents want to educate their children at home, but may lack the confidence or level of understanding themselves. They don’t know how or when to talk to their children or what lessons may be age appropriate. People who understand how money works are better able to make sound decisions in their own lives, not to mention make sense of policies that affect our entire nation and the world.

There isn’t a single approach to making financial education work, but rather try to make it a lifestyle commitment, a long-term goal achieved via a series of small, manageable goals. Here are some steps you can take to achieve that long-term goal:

• Get into the habit of thinking in terms of money. Everything has an economic aspect; start looking for it as you go through your day. When you add a cold drink to your tab as you pay for gasoline, think: “I’m spending two dollars to quench my thirst.” When you remember to register early for the conference, think: “I’m saving a hundred dollars by being organized and reaching a decision quickly.” Becoming conscious of what you spend and why helps you to become aware of your spending habits and of patterns you may want to change.
• Keep track of what you earn and spend. Use a notebook, spreadsheet, personal finance software or any other form that’s comfortable for you. (Most financial institutions and many sites on the Internet offer this software at no charge.) Write down every penny you get or give from any source, no matter how insignificant. Keeping track of your earning and spending in this way demystifies money and gives you a sense of control over it.
• Develop a budget. The money log you’ve been keeping will help you decide how much you need to allot to each category. (Find budget worksheets wherever you found your daily money log.)
• Read about financial topics or attend informational seminars in your local community. Don’t skip over the finance section of the newspaper. Pick up magazines devoted to economics and finance. Even publications for women focusing mainly on fashion or homemaking will contain some articles related to personal finance.
• Familiarize yourself with your pay stubs and billing statements. Do you know what rate you are being charged for credit cards and utility bills? Credit card companies may charge one rate for purchases and another, higher rate for cash advances. Customers with better credit ratings usually get more attractive rates. Utility companies may vary their rates depending on peak or off-peak usage, age or economic status of household members, or other factors. Look for hidden fees and determine if they are necessary.
• Send for copies of your credit report from the three major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Trans Union, and Experian). You are allowed one free report each year from each agency. Look them over and make sure everything on them is accurate. The U.S. government’s Federal Trade Commission website (www.ftc.gov) has lots of good information about understanding these reports and correcting any errors.
• Ask questions. Are you taking full advantage of your benefits package at your place of employment? If you don’t fully understand your benefits, speak with your human resources manager about them. If you don’t understand your billing statements, call customer service and speak with a representative.
• Educate your kids. Explain to them that money is a finite resource: every dollar spent for one purpose is a dollar not spent—or saved—for something else. Depending on their ages, allow them to make financial transactions. Give them allowances. Sign them up for financial education classes. Resolve to make the whole family savvy about money!

Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Dealing with our Emotional Self

You may have heard of authentic leadership, the concept of being genuine and connecting with your employees, team or staff with your heart. It is about being transparent, painting a clear vision and connecting with those you lead. In this matter, you can accomplish great results. As women, we can use emotions and empathy to make great authentic leaders but being emotional creatures can also be devastating to our careers. Being authentic isn’t about being weak or weeping in front of our team. It is about making the right emotional empathetic connections at the right time.

So how do we control our emotional selves?  After all, we are driven by hormones that are sometimes hard to tame. Here are the ways I channel my roller coaster of emotions to avoid making regrettable missteps in my connections.

• First, I am clear on what kind of leader I want to be. I choose to be genuine, caring and lead by example. When I see my team struggling on a project, I want to be empathetic.  Before placing blame anywhere else, I first ask myself, "did I explain clearly my expectations or objective?" I look always at ways I can improve the way I connect and lead.
• Second, I know the kind of leader I don’t want to be. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or be influenced by others without having all the facts. I don’t want to react immediately and allow my actions to be driven by anger or negativity. This is not always easy to accomplish when we open an email that is ill intended and confrontational. It is equally as hard when we are in the middle of a disaccord with an emotional individual that is not rational or is saying hurtful things. As leaders, we must be clear that we have a thankless job. It is not common for people to stop and admire the work we do, as it is to hear what we are not doing right, or how they can do it better.

Dealing with written communication: When faced with these emotions through written communication, I take a step back. I walk away from my computer and immediately redirect my focus on something completely opposite. I take a walk -- it is scientifically proven that activity and exercise have a positive influence on our emotions. I rationalize the situation. I pretend that I am an outsider evaluating the issue. It makes me disconnect emotionally from the situation and bring logic to my response. If I am truly upset and distraught, I will avoid speaking with anyone to not inadvertently react to someone else or fail to stay positive. If I choose to respond to the email, I will save it as a draft and then read it again when I am at a calmer state. In most cases, I will choose to respond in person or by phone.

Dealing face to face with anger: If dealing in person with a confrontational situation, I will purposely change my body language. I will lean in to create a more attentive stance. I will be more thoughtful in listening to make sure that I can create harmony. I will purposely lower my voice to do the opposite of the aggressor. In the mirror image, many times we imitate the negative angry emotion and it becomes a battle; therefore, I am conscious of my response. I will then redirect my conversation with something obvious like “it is clear to me that this is very upsetting to you” or “I can clearly see how upset this situation has gotten you” or “I can clearly see that I have somehow upset you”. By stating the obvious, you bring an important element of awareness to the conversation and the person often finds themselves stopping to think about the comment. This provides an opportunity to redirect the emotion to either “let’s consider this” or “let me review this” or “give me a chance to think through a solution that will benefit both of us”. In the interim, I am speaking to my emotional self, keeping “me” in check to stay focused to look at this as an outsider and bring calmness to my mind.

Always remember to ask yourself, “will this matter in 5 minutes, 5 days or 5 years?”  Most problems we face seem like huge issues but in the big picture of life, they are insignificant.

-Bellaria Jimenez